Tonight will be only my third virtual event and I must confess I am at a crossroads. What does one read when they, at the moment, have no new and edited material to pull from and have doubts about the piece that currently have in cue?
You go with your gut, you leave self doubt to brood in the other room. You take a chance and lift the yolk of perfection from your own neck you are only human after all.
But I must say, I need to take my own advice and go with my gut.
I hope to see you all tonight at Noir at the Bar. Link to register is below.
A question that looms in the background. “Am I good enough?” The answer is ‘Yes.”
I am sure no writer is immune to asking herself or himself on any given day “Am I good enough to do this?” In particular when one is starting out the question always arises instilling doubt and most of all fear.
This fear is all consuming and can cause the pen to quiver and hand to become unsteady on the keys when trying to sit and knock out a few pages. This doubt often creeps in and settles in the bottom of my belly much like a lead weight. Keeping me in place and reminding me that the road to publishing is a rocky one.
This rocky road is one we must all travel, and we must travel alone. One can lose hope on the journey and as they make their way they will encounter confusing and misleading information, scammers that promise overnight success, and the nay-sayers who’s words will nestle in your mind like a tick and overtime will suck the life force and snuff out any creative drive.
As writers, we are solitary creatures bundled up and hunched over our laptops and notebooks coffee hot and chilling by the minute as we toil away putting thoughts and ideas into words in an attempt to bring to fruition what others cannot see. It is easy to forget that we are not alone in this space and that countless others have made this journey and have come out the other side wiser and brandishing spoils from a battle long fought.
Knowing that I am not alone gives me the hope to trek on.
As of late, I find myself overcome with fresh and interesting ideas. Trust me I am not complaining. As someone that just overcame a year of writer’s block this is truly a blessing from above and I willing hold up pen and pad to the sky to receive them.
But I, like many with a full time job, often times more than I care to admit, find myself short on time. Or when I have the time, I have a million things to do or I am exhausted and the opportunity to open my laptop to bust out a few lines is readily exchanged for a hot shower and the rare opportunity to get in bed by 11pm.
One day I found myself doing a true self reflection, not just telling myself good things are to come but real introspeciton. I asked myself, seriously, have you tried? Do you try? Practicing honesty with ones self is tough and I had to answer truthfully, ‘no.’
After reflecting and identifying where I have been going wrong for the past 2 years, I have identified what 2021 needs to look like if I want to transition to doing what I love full time.
I always enjoy rattling a story around in my head. I can kill an entire day working out plots and characters in my mind. As someone that has and still struggles with social interaction creating these elaborate stories has been of comfort to me and has allowed me to have many adventures as well as participate in some quite devious activities all without leaving my room and most importantly without talking to a single soul.
Often a story that unfolded itself naturally in my mind bends and twists once I start to type leading me once again to a dead end.
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