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Giving An Old Story New Life: Ida. Elizabeth., a story

I had a thought and like an implusive child with something to prove I decided to act on it. Below is a story. Previously, this story was a fanfic that I had written. It received such high praise and substantial reviews that I thought I would challenge myself and breathe new life into a piece of fanfiction I had written a year ago.

This story walks through the darkest corners of grief, loss, and the will to survive. It touches on suicide, cancer, and the kind of pain that hollows a person out. Read gently, and if you are inclined leave me a review.

Have you ever taken a piece of old writing and given it new life? The Weirdo would love to hear from you.

I’m a hard man.

Always have been. I’ve always had to be. As the oldest male heir of the House of Ashford, I was everything, and also nothing. My baby brother was less than that. Our only sister at least had value in her virtue. Laura didn’t have to prove anything to anyone. Unlike her, I couldn’t just be. I couldn’t exist.

There was no world in which I could simply live. Life didn’t begin until I was deemed fit until another family saw me fit. Worthy to be forced to take their daughters hand. I should be so grateful that my bride was picked for me. Life had been written for me since the day I was conceived. I was a born to carry on the Ashford name.

That’s all I ever was to my father. A name. Another priceless, rare object he possessed. Another thing for some socialite to calm. The lower classes had it all wrong. My gilded cage had barb wires around it. In this world, it is us men that are the objects. We are none other than step ladders the young ladies of our society use to elevate themselves and their families, of course. We are the ones that get obtained not the other way around. Either way it’s a filthy practice degrading to both sexes.

In my younger days, I had no desire to claim anyone or be claimed for that matter. At that time, I had yet to meet anyone that shared the voracious appetite I had for knowledge. I craved the beauty of this world. That was the goal of my existence. I could have happily died a bachelor. Then she came along turning my world upside down changing my beliefs, giving me hope. I found in her a reason to do more than exist. I longed to live for once in my life.

She was the first of two flowers that sprouted in the winding rocky path called Life. The first was fair. Dutiful and intelligent. She gave me everything. Including the best ten years a man could have ever hoped for. I loved her more than the air I breathed. She was a need. I learned to fight from her.

Ida.

Ida loved flowers. But I didn’t find out how deep her obsession with blue hydrangeas went until our first date where I arrived with two dozen long stemmed roses. I know I too can be cliche, but I would have been anything for her. She took them holding them at arms length. “I’m allergic,” her only audible response as she continued blessing me with the shy smile I had come to love. I quickly slid the bouquet and a hefty tip into the matre’d’s hand to get rid of the offense item.

My choices of eligible women were slim or rather Father approved women were slim. He had pushed a list across the desk to me that summer and sat back crossing his left leg over the other. This impromptu afternoon lunch was a rarity but for Father another business meeting. He watched with thinly veiled boredom as he watched me run a finger over the seven names. Mother didn’t bother to watch only raising a dainty and well manicured hand in the air snapping her fingers; impatiently ready for cocktail number three.

I was about to protest until I saw her name. I gasped. She was Father and subsequently Mother approved. I could swallow the hollow courage I had found. We married in the fall, the date worked best for Father and most of his shallow country club connections. Neither of us minded, it wouldn’t have mattered to our families if we did. But we were allowed to be together which was most important.

Our union was a happy one. A son, Gregory, followed nine months later. But keeping with family traditions, I let the darkness drain that flower. Work commitments and fighting for Father’s waning approval took me away from them. Away from her. The cancer came wilting my flower, choking it at the root and three years after her diagnosis, she died.

My family, our money, all of the connections we had in the state couldn’t save her. Work became meaningless. Father’s approval a burden. My child a harsh reminder that he would grow up not ever really knowing the woman I knew and loved. Thirty days after her funeral, I had become a dead man walking. My once muscular frame began to wither away. I was ousted from the family company by my brother. My mother-in-law took my son. What little bit of me was left I gave to the bottle of whiskey.

My home had become my prison. I had consecrated it to become my tomb. I had an endgame and set about the basement. I would find a quiet place to do it. Somewhere the maid wouldn’t find me. I couldn’t do that to Clara nor Ms. Alberta. It was best not to upset the women.

Dan was the only one on staff that ventured down here without being told. He would discover my lifeless body. While I built up the courage to end it all, I drank. It dulled the pain numbing my fingers. I couldn’t feel the cool steel of the bullets as I loaded the antique revolver. I admired the polished handle and the carefully placed gold. The Glock felt too pedestrian for an Ashford, and the .375 magnum felt too gaudy. Why not do the deed in style? Ashford style.

Somewhere between preparing for my end and the second bottle of whiskey, I was on the floor of my office laughing. The whiskey would accomplish what Father’s revolver on the floor wouldn’t have a chance to. That’s how my Dan found me, passed out slipping from this world into the next waiting for Ida. But at my lowest, I was blessed to have a second flower sprout in my garden. Dan had guided, half dragged, me to a guest room.

Later that evening, I woke to dark brown eyes. They were filled with compassion and an intelligence I thought I would never see again on this side of the veil. Dan stood off to the side his gaze fixed on the far wall. His hands were balled into fists at his sides. I felt shame. I had asked too much of him. “This is Dr. Elizabeth Wells. She’ll help, and she’s discreet.” He nodded as if his words were any more comforting than the young woman above me.

Her words were soft as lavender bubble bath against my skin and I found myself wanting to live a little longer just to be another minute in her presence. I had only ever felt that with Ida.

My recovery had been short needing only a few days to find myself back on my feet but Elizabeth stayed. I wanted her to stay. Elizabeth didn’t come from money. She was self made. Mother had nearly snarled at the revelation and regarded Elizabeth with carefully veiled disgust as she watched my love down the bridge of her nearly perfect nose. Lunch ended quickly. I apologized to Elizabeth promising to protect her from encounters such as that. From them.

She wasn’t Father nor Mother approved but I courted her with the same ferocity I had with Ida. I had courage I never had before. She was my plus one everywhere. My friends warmed to her. My sister, uncharacteristically, supported us but only in secret. Not wanting to throw the comfortable life Father provided for her into jeopardy. I was given an ultimatum and another list of pre-screened approvals. Mother smirked remarking Elizabeth was beneath my station and it was time I become serious once again and chose someone better. A woman less sickly.

For once, I made myself clear. My choice. My way. Elizabeth was my choice. This time I fought. I regained custody of my son. I choose to start my own company pursuing a passion that I had let go dormant out of fear of my father. This time, the wedding date was of our choosing. We did it our way. I was starting to live again.

But as an Ashford, I learned long ago bliss for me has a short shelf life and after two years and the birth of our little girl the darkness returned and took Elizabeth as well. A drunk driver destroyed my world wilting another flower. This time, I would end the hurt. I didn’t need the whiskey as I slid into the driver’s seat. Speeding down the drive I knew of only one way. The cliff.

There would be no hesitation. No second chances. It was final. I had left the necessary paperwork on the desk in my office. They wouldn’t be hard to find. Just as I press the gas the cliff’s edge in the distance, traffic is nonexistent, I glance in the rearview mirror and I see them. Toys scattered across the backseat. My son. My little girl. Visions of early morning drives race across my mind. The dread that fills me is enough to cause me to slam on the brakes. I couldn’t do it. Not to them. I couldn’t further destroy their world. I return home.

Dan and Clara are waiting by the door. Dan’s gaze is fixed on mine knowing. As he if he had expected the worst. Clara’s cheeks are damp as she’s pulling at the hem of her uniform. I drop my head in shame walking past them and toward my children’s bedrooms.

But alas I am not without hope.

I follow Helen further into the garden. My heart races as I know where she is headed. We are nearing the crypt. The one place on the grounds that is off limits to everyone. My footsteps slow as we near it. I can barely breathe. She raises her chubby little hand to point at two flowers growing together.

It’s odd because I don’t remember planting them there nor having the landscaper do anything besides the usual tasks.

“Ida. Elizabeth.” I whisper their names my heart skipping beats as I approached.

“Mommy,” Helen points toward the yellow trumpet surrounded by five petals, “Gregory’s mommy,” she’s pointing to the blue mophead of the other plant.

Growing together in the slither of light is a hydrangea and a daffodil.

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Motivation: An Unreliable Muse

Motivation. We’ve all had. We’ve all lost it. Trust me, I know. I have been motivated to get sexy for the summer for over a decade, and I am still not where I desire to be. Why? Because motivation, not discipline, was the driver.

I will explore why I think motivation is-well, you’ve seen the title. It’s unreliable and most of all fleeting. Motivation comes dressed in the most convincing costume you have ever seen. Allow me to prove my posture.

I recently began working on Book 3. An idea that had rattled around in my brain, leaving nicks along already worn surfaces, and after a year, demanded I put it to paper. I was motivated-burning with something I have no words to describe. Hopes were high. I was high (not literally) but you get the sense of euphoria I had for this project.

Then, somewhere around 14,000 words, I lost the spark. For what I set out to achieve that word count was no where near enough. I had embraced the fantasy of this wonderful new project coming to fruition. I invested more in the dream than in the actual work of building it. The dream was intoxicating; the discipline required to see it through was not.

But this wasn’t the first time I have started out full steam ahead only to fizzle out before covering meaningful ground.

Taming Armand and Bloody Endings were not my first endeavors into writing. Neither were my first attempts at finishing a book. If anything, they rank fourth and fifth on a list that the others didn’t make it onto.

Back in 2018, I was motivated. Really motivated. That was the year. I was going to get my sh*t together. I would finally lean into my talents and write the book. That had been my motto: Write the Damn Book. I had attended my first Noir at a local coffee shop and was riding that emotion high. And by golly. I was going to ride it all the way to a finished manuscript.

Somewhere between life well- life-ing-the time spent writing became less and less. Sleeping a full eight hours became sexier than burning the midnight oil a few nights out of the week. My to-do list included everything but writing, and eventually, I chose productivity over creativity. The payoff of a quick, completed task was more exciting than the delayed gratification creativity offered. The thrill had left before the story had began.

The early pages of that manuscript ended up in a binder, alongside other forgotten ideas. Each of their origins forged from fleeting moments of motivation.

Fast forward to 2022. Life shifted in ways that I hadn’t anticipated. Illness pulled my card, and I grazed the hem of Death’s garment. By God’s grace, I was left on this side of the veil. And when I stepped into 2023, what propelled me ahead was not motivation. It was something quieter. Far more stubborn. It was discipline.

Taming Armand had begun to take shape into something serious. I decided to remove it from Inkitt and into a Word document. I set deadlines. I carried my laptop to work and wrote on my lunch break instead of doom scrolling. I showed up for the page even when the page felt like the last place I wanted to be.

With a little self-reflection and a new awareness, I discovered that motivation seduces. It will show up beautifully dressed. Full of promises. Endless possibilities. Then-it will leave. It always leaves. Motivation is not designed for the long haul. It is the spark, not the furnace.

Discipline is the furnace. It is far from romantic. It does not arrive with fanfare nor is it a feeling. No one cheers. There are no t-shirts. Discipline is simply the decision, made again and again, to continue-even when the magic is gone. Even when 14,000 words seems like evidence of failure rather than proof of progress.

I no longer search for motivation. I reach, yearning to touch discipline instead.

Until next time-has motivation carried you through? Or have you found discipline to be the more reliable companion? Sound off in the comments. The Weirdo wants to know.

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Mapping a Dystopian World: A Pantser’s Journey with Planning

A pantser tries planning for a change. Let’s just say it was…interesting.

With the new year a little over a month behind us, I thought I would begin to post again. To write again, and to once again try something new. So, I thought I would step away from the Indie Publishing Series to allow it to breathe.

Oddly enough, I first started using a notebook to map out characters for a suspense story. When that fell through and the juices were no longer flowing, so to speak, it turned into a character worksheet for Taming Armand. Although it helped (my definition of ‘help’ is very loose here), I found myself writing out scenes instead of actual character development-which I thought was the exact opposite of a planning notebook. Now, I had the horrid task of transcribing everything from my spiral notebook into a Word doc.

I completed the transcribing with disgust etched into my features while I dredged up memories of why I had forgone writing with pen and paper when and where I could help it. I left the story planning notebook alone until I got into my dystopian sci-fi bag; now I find myself relaying on it to get me going on my first draft.

Why Now?

You may ask that question, and it’s a fair one given that I have let my disgust for planning out stories known. I needed a place, aside from the jumbled and tumbled workroom of my mind, to work out the kinks. To see the world before I put in down on paper. I needed a place to workshop this new world I am building. I needed to see it alive on the paper.

What sounds good in my head at times doesn’t work well on paper. I am sure as a fellow writer you know the struggle. If you’re not a writer then you know as a human.

What Works?

Planning out this dystopian world allows me to keep the rules straight, to keep order to the creative disorder I am writing. See, when you’re building a world from scratch—especially one where society has collapsed or twisted into something unrecognizable—there are rules. Lots of them. Who has power? Who doesn’t? What technology survived? What died with the old world?

If I don’t keep track of these things, I’ll end up with a character using electricity in Chapter 3 when I clearly stated in Chapter 1 that the grid’s been dead for twenty years. Or worse, I’ll forget which factions are at war with each other and accidentally write a alliance that makes zero sense.

The notebook gives me a reference point. A map, if you will. And for someone who usually flies by the seat of their pants, having that safety net is both liberating…and terrifying.

The Balance

Here’s the thing I’m learning: I don’t have to choose between being a pantser and being a planner. I can be both. I can sketch out the bones of this dystopian world—the geography, the power structures, the technology, the history—and then let my characters run wild within those boundaries.

It’s like building a playground. I construct the equipment, set the perimeter, establish the rules, and then I let the kids play however they want. Sometimes they surprise me. Sometimes they break things. But at least I know where the boundaries are.

I’m still writing scenes in that notebook—old habits die hard—but now they’re scenes that fit. They make sense within the world I’ve built. They don’t contradict the rules I’ve laid out three pages earlier.

Moving Forward

Will I become a full-time planner? Probably not. I assure you no. At least no time soon. I still believe in the magic that happens when you just write, when you let the story surprise you, when you let your characters speak, rather than manufacture them. But I’m also learning that some stories—particularly ones with complex world-building—need a little structure to keep them from collapsing under their own weight.

So here I am, a pantser with a planning notebook, building a dystopian world one scribbled note at a time. It’s messy. It’s imperfect. And yes, I’ll probably still end up transcribing half of it into a Word doc with disgust etched into my features.

But it’s working. And sometimes, that’s enough.

Have you ever tried planning when you’re naturally a pantser? Or vice versa? The Weirdo Writes wants to know.

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Finding Your Unique Writer’s Voice

Writers often find inspiration in their favorite authors but must differentiate between inspiration and imitation to succeed. Initially emulating others can stifle creativity, but finding one’s unique voice is essential. Embracing authenticity leads to fulfilling storytelling, allowing writers to express themselves without the burden of replicating someone else’s style.

As writers, we naturally gravitate toward particular styles that inspire us. We all have our favorites—those authors whose words resonate so deeply that we can’t help but be influenced by them. But there’s a fine line between inspiration and imitation, and learning to recognize that difference can make or break your writing career.

In the beginning, this was my struggle as I moved toward taking a more serious approach to my writing career. I attempted to become a modern-day version of Edgar Allen Poe (my absolute fave by the way). I thought, “This worked well for him-albeit posthumously-so surely this will benefit me as well. So why not give it a try?”

I’ve since learned that although emulating your favorite author is how many writers start out, it rarely works in the long run. No carbon copies allowed. I became so caught up in trying to use another writer’s formula that I became stifled and stagnant, unable to complete my own works.

Close-up of a young woman with short dark hair and large expressive eyes, wearing a black top and a hoop earring, gazing thoughtfully towards the viewer.
In my frustration that I was doing it (writing) wrong, I almost gave up. Imitation is not the sincerest form of flattery it is a crutch.

Developing Your Voice

As aspiring writers, we must develop our own voices. In this digital age, we have tools, platforms, and exposure opportunities that our predecessors never dreamed of. But this blessing is also a curse. The waters have become muddied with self-appointed gurus and experts, making the landscape confusing and, at times, daunting.

Anyone with a laptop and internet access can post whenever and whatever they want. It’s easy to find yourself drowned out by the noise of fan fiction and poorly crafted writing. (I have nothing against fan fiction—my first online posts were Harry Potter fanfics, some of my best work, actually, though they’re in desperate need of editing.)

How I Found My Voice

So how did I find my voice?

I stopped trying to reinvent the wheel and began to write what felt natural to me. I stopped trying to get into the minds of King, Poe, and Flynn and began to write the sort of stories that I would love to read. I create the characters that I found fascinating, and every one of them embodies a bit of me.

I also stopped trying to force myself into a specific genre. Now, as someone relatively new to the writing game, I don’t know if this approach is “correct” or not, but it has worked for me thus far and allowed me to get back to what matters most: the story.

I feel I’ve freed myself and truly opened up to a world of great possibility. And that’s what finding your voice really means—giving yourself permission to write authentically, without the pressure of living up to someone else’s legacy.

Your turn. Have you struggled with finding your voice as a writer? Sound off in the comments, The Weirdo wants to know!

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Indie Publishing Reality versus Expectations – Part 6: Marketing

How I Learned to Stop Dreaming and Start Hustling

The book is written, cover design is done and that bad boy is published. Great sense of accomplishment. Check. Now, what’s next? Short answer…selling. In order to sell you have to market your book. Honestly, marketing and selling Taming Armand and Bloody Endings along with building a solid following has been harder than actually writing the books. Sweating it out over the keys is the easy part. Once you hit publish the real work starts.

An animated alien character working at a desk, typing on a computer keyboard amidst papers and a calculator, with shelves of books in the background.

I will go into this blog with a note to the reader. These are all actions that I have recently begun to undertake. As a green as spinach author (with the first book, I hope by now that I at least have a little seasoning, although still a bit bland, LOL) I thought if I publish the book they will come. My writing alone will bring the reader to the yard so to speak.

Arrogantly I thought I blast it out once at the onset and the buyers will come. I would gain a mass following, quit the rat race and write full time in a surf shack in Hawaii. Hmmm…not with the previous strategy which was no strategy.

Hopefully, this blog will help you and continue to aid me in this publishing journey.

I was two books in when I thought ‘hey, maybe I should market my books to increase sells.’ If you laughed, I assure you we have no qualms. At this stage of the indie publishing game, it’s very intuitive to think how do I market? How do I get my book or story out there? How do I build an email list? These were not questions that came naturally to me.

The Marketing Reality: It’s a Marathon, not a sprint.  

Here’s the thing nobody tells you: marketing your indie book isn’t a one-and-done deal. It’s an ongoing relationship you build with your readers, one awkward social media post at a time. But don’t worry – we’re all figuring it out together. Your lack of sells doesn’t mean you’re a bad writer, it’s only means no one knows your product exists, and you as the producer of that product have to make people aware or else they don’t buy. 

A cartoonish, alien-like character with large expressive eyes and a pinkish-purple skin tone, running energetically on a racetrack surrounded by palm trees and cheering banners.
  1. Start With Your Author Platform

Before you even think about paid ads get your foundation solid. Spend a little time and build an author website. Even a simple one-page site with your bio, books, and contact info beats having nothing. It gives people someone to go to find you.

You can do this for free. Now if you want to get fancy and have the website as your name or domain of your choosing you will have to pay, but if the budget is tight I would suggest you go with the free option. Trust me no one (aside from you) will care that your website name has something attached for instance .wordpress or the platform of your choosing. 

2. Choose 2-3 social media platforms max.

Two to three social media platforms are recommended but I would say choose the number of platforms that you will realistically frequently update. If you hate a particular platform don’t use it. Although we are conducting business we still want to have a little fun and at the very least enjoy the content we make and share. Pick platforms where your readers actually hang out.

Social Media That Doesn’t Suck Your Soul

  • BookTok/TikTok: Great for romance, fantasy, YA
  • Instagram: Visual storytelling, behind-the-scenes content
  • Facebook: Still huge for connecting with readers, especially in genre groups
  • Twitter/X: Good for connecting with other authors and industry folks

TIP: Share your writing process, not just “buy my book” posts. People love behind-the-scenes content – show your messy desk, your coffee addiction, your cat interrupting your writing sessions.

Highlight: Don’t spread yourself thin trying to be everywhere at once. This was a mistake I made and it only lead to burn out and inconsistencies all around.

3. Start collecting emails from day one.

An abstract illustration of a person sitting at a desk with a laptop, surrounded by floating email envelopes, conveying a sense of digital communication and marketing.

My email list is in-progress. It can be difficult asking people to provide their emails. It seems naughty. Or we ignore the opportunity to collect that valuable and key piece of information. But it doesn’t have to be awkward nor hard. Use a free service like Mailchimp or ConvertKit to capture reader interest.

The Power of the Email List (Yes, Really)

I know, I know – email lists sound about as exciting as watching paint dry. But here’s the truth: social media platforms can disappear or change their algorithms overnight. Your email list? That’s yours forever.

Quick email list building tips:

  • Offer a free short story or chapter as a “reader magnet”
  • Include signup links in the back of your books
  • Mention your newsletter in every social media bio

4. Reviews: The Holy Grail (And How to Get Them)

Reviews are social proof that your book doesn’t completely suck. I am in need of more reviews I’m sure you are too; here’s some ways to get some or to get more.

  • Ask family and friends to leave honest reviews (but follow platform guidelines)
  • Join review exchange groups with other indie authors
  • Send advance reader copies (ARCs) to book bloggers and BookTubers
  • Follow up with readers: Include a gentle request for reviews in your book’s back matter

5. Network Like Your Career Depends on It (Because It Does)

The indie author community is incredibly supportive once you find your tribe. It is a bit ironic that what we do for the most part is a solo endeavor, but all the other parts of writing does require some interaction with community. Nobody understands nor will listen to you moan and groan about editing and cover designs like a fellow author. Trust me on this one. I would suggest:

  • Join Facebook groups for your genre
  • Attend virtual book events and author conferences
  • Collaborate with other authors: Cross-promotion, anthology submissions, guest blog posts
  • Support other indie authors: Like, share, and review their work – it often comes back around

6.Take it Easy on the Pockets

You don’t need a Hollywood budget to market effectively. Keep it simple in the early stages.

An illustrated array of items labeled 'Budget Friendly,' featuring various containers, bags, and household objects, set against a bright background.

Free or Cheap Options:

  • BookFunnel and StoryOrigin promotions: Group giveaways and newsletter swaps
  • Genre-specific Facebook groups: Share when allowed, but engage genuinely first
  • Local opportunities: Library events, book clubs, writing groups
  • Podcast guesting: Many book podcasts are always looking for author interviews

Now only you can decide when and if you need to spend money on marketing. When you’re ready to spend a little here are some helpful hints:

  • BookBub Featured Deals: The gold standard, but competitive
  • Amazon ads: Start small ($5-10/day) and learn as you go
  • Newsletter swaps: Pay to be featured in other authors’ newsletters
  • Book promotion sites: Bargain Booksy, Robin Reads, Fussy Librarian

### Track What Works (And Ditch What Doesn’t)

Keep it simple but keep track:

  • Which social media posts get the most engagement?
  • Where are your sales coming from?
  • What promotional activities actually move the needle?

Use free tools like Google Analytics for your website and the built-in insights on social platforms to see what’s working.

The Long Game Mindset

Marketing your indie books isn’t about finding that one magic trick that makes you an overnight sensation. It’s about consistently showing up, building genuine relationships with readers, and slowly but surely growing your audience.

Some months you’ll sell three books. Some months you might sell thirty. Both are wins when you’re building something from scratch.

Remember: every bestselling author started exactly where you are now – with one book and a whole lot of hope. The difference between those who make it and those who don’t? They kept going, kept learning, and kept connecting with readers.

Be kind to yourself. If something doesn’t work adjust and try again.

Now stop reading about marketing and go do some actual marketing. Your books aren’t going to promote themselves (unfortunately).

What marketing strategies have worked best for you? What’s been your biggest challenge? Drop a comment below – the Weirdo wants to know!

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Indie Publishing Expectations versus Reality – Part 5: Is Self-Publishing Worth It?

As I stared at my living room ceiling, struggling to type out this week’s blog post, I wondered: had my well run dry? Had my attempt at blowing up Weirdo Writes and turning this into something more been just a hyped-up, caffeine-induced fever dream? Was I tapped out after such a good previous month of blogging and posting (mainly) on time?

Then a stray thought hit me. It’s often these straying fragments of sanity that bring me the greatest seeds—ones that sprout into beautiful pieces.

I bring you this blog as it came to me: in pieces, as a midnight ramble, on a queasy stomach as I seriously ponder the question: is being a self-published author worth it? I will expand: do I want to continue down this path?

In this introduction, I’m unsure of the answer to the first question and hesitant to answer the second. But I refuse to shy away from either, and hopefully by the time this blog ends, I’ll have answered both.

A winding road disappears into fog, flanked by trees and a distant house, creating a moody and atmospheric scene.

Is Being a Self-Published Author Worth It?

Yes…and some days, no.

Just like any other breathing human being, I want to feel—or rather know—that my work hasn’t been in vain. Is it a blessing to be able to write, to get my story out there? Of course. I’m grateful on many days that I was able to take something that rattled from lobe to lobe and put down something coherent on paper. It’s no easy feat, whether you’ve sold two books or 20 million. Writing is tough. Marketing and selling your wares is tough, and when you don’t have a large budget, it’s even tougher. But it’s also an opportunity to rise to the occasion.

But I’m rambling—my attempt to avoid really answering the question.

If I had to choose, if I had to defend self-publishing, then my answer would be yes. It is worth it, with the caveat that you, the indie author, understand that success will not be overnight. The journey will get frustrating, and although you’ll receive tremendous support from family and friends with your first book, once the second and third are published, that enthusiastic support may wane.

As their relative or friend, you have to not take that as a reflection of your work, but understand that people have short attention spans. They see that you haven’t become the next Andy Weir, so they’ve moved on to something else. Don’t take it personally.

You’ll need to grow thick skin—and by all means, grow it quick. The shade and digs can and will come from coworkers, friends, family, and (drumroll please) other authors. (I won’t go into detail here, but I may tackle this in another post on uncomfortable topics.)

As an indie author, you have to have your priorities in order. If your goal is to get rich quick, you might want to go back to the drawing board and think of something else. Although selling and subsequently making money is the endgame, it cannot be the main focus. If you’re making art simply to make art, then go for it and the money piece won’t matter to you.

For me, it boils down to something extremely important: ownership. These books are my intellectual property. I’m able to steward the plots and make the final call on cover designs and edits. Black Melancholy is my own little madhouse, and I can hack away and Frankenstein things together as I please—as I see fit.

Do I Want to Continue Down This Path?

I’m torn. Part of me would like to at least try traditional publishing. I’m curious what it would feel like to have a huge publisher logo on the spine of my book, whispering that “you’ve made the big leagues.” A six-figure advance doesn’t sound too bad either.

But I like self-publishing. I love the creative control, and I have a vision—one that sees further than what I can explain in a single blog post.

Simply put: yes. For the time being, I will continue down this path, and I will do so with zeal.

Are you an indie author? Is the self-published journey worth it to you? The Weirdo wants to know!

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FanFiction in the Mainstream: An Author’s Perspective

I recently read an article in regards to the rise of Dramione fanfiction and to the uninitiated it’s Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger fan written stories that are quickly becoming mainstream, and being sold in chain book stores. I thought I would offer my thoughts as an author. This topic has become increasingly relevant as we are witnessing more fanfiction-to-publication success stores.

A close-up of a romantic kiss between two young characters in a fantasy setting, with a focus on their expressions and attire, suggesting a magical or school environment.

I will do my best to play devil’s advocate and attempt to examine the benefits and potential pitfalls of this trend.

I’ll begin with this: I have absolutely nothing against fanfiction. Period. I love it and to this day publish fanfiction and for the foreseeable future don’t plan to stop.

Fanficiton and I have quit a history. In the summer of 2010, during my mother’s first bout with a mysterious illness, it was during a late night search that I stumbled upon a lifeline I hadn’t known I needed. During the two weeks I stayed with her in the hospital, I dove into familiar worlds with beloved characters. This journey down this unfamiliar and odd path provided much needed comfort and escape during a very scary time.

During that same year of uncertainty and fear, I wrote my first ever fanfiction piece-and no, I will not be sharing the website where I publish my fanfiction nor my pen name. I’ve even written a blog post discussing how writing fanficition over the years made me a better writer, because it absolutely did (click here to read that post).

Now that I have that out of the way, let me begin.

As an author, I don’t take issue with other writers taking already-established worlds and characters and dreaming up alternate endings or putting characters together romantically who would never be involved in the original work—like Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy. This kind of creative exploration serves several important purposes.

For the readers, it answers that great question: what if? It also serves to give characters a deeper dive granted the fanfiction characterization isn’t too far off the mark. It breathes new life into the storyline by exploring themes that weren’t necessarily important to the movement of then original storyline.

Now, for the writer, it is a playground of endless possibilities, as well as a great challenge. Many of the stories and characters are beloved. Any deviation that veers too far from what is realistic for that character(s), time period or setting, the reader will eviscerate you. Trust me, I speak from experience on that one. You also get immediate feedback and in some cases demand.

In the long term, books that were published years ago can potentially gain a new generation of readers as well as a renewed interest from those of us who grew up with a particular series.

The Issue and Broader Implications

What I do take issue with is when adaptations of someone else’s world and characters are then sold as standalone stories, with minimal changes made to disguise their fanfiction origins. I wouldn’t necessarily use the word “plagiarism,” but I feel as though we’re heading into a grey area where the original creator is somehow getting the middle finger.

Let me be clear about the distinction I’m making here. Finding inspiration in fanfiction and creating your own original story is one thing—and something I fully support. Many authors have drawn inspiration from existing works to create something genuinely new and transformative. But taking scenarios directly from a world someone else created—tweaking character encounters, introducing scenarios—and then packaging and selling it feels well….problematic.

I find the approach of not bothering to change anything aside from surface-level details troubling, and I disagree with this becoming an accepted route to publication. If this becomes the expected norm, then why should authors be bothered with creating whole new worlds and mythologies? Why waste time agonizing and aiming to bring something new to the table when you can re-heat leftovers?

Yes, I understand the argument that “there’s nothing new under the sun,” but there are concepts and approaches that authors have brought forth that are fresh but original, even when exploring universal themes and archetypes.

The Creative Development Question and Finding Balance

Can this new popular path potentially stunt creative growth?

When writers know they can take shortcuts by borrowing established worlds and character dynamics, are they missing out on the challenging but rewarding work of creating something entirely their own?

Building original worlds, developing unique character archetypes, and creating fresh mythologies is difficult work. It requires authors to dig deep, to find their own voice, and to contribute something genuinely new to the literary landscape. While I understand the appeal of the fanfiction-to-publication path, I worry it may discourage the more challenging but ultimately more rewarding creative work.

I want to be clear: I’m not calling for fanfiction to be banned or discouraged. The community serves valuable purposes, and the writing practice it provides is invaluable. What I’m advocating for is a clearer distinction between fanfiction as a creative exercise and practice ground, and professional publication that should meet higher standards of originality.

My concern is that we’re on a slippery slope where the line between fanfiction and original fiction becomes increasingly blurred in commercial publishing. If we accept that minimal changes to existing worlds and characters constitute “original” work worthy of publication and profit, where does it end?

What happens when aspiring authors see this as the easier path to publication and stop developing their own creative voices? What happens to the rich tradition of imaginative world-building that has given us everything from Middle-earth to Hogwarts to Panem?

Final Thoughts

Fanfiction is a wonderful creative outlet and training ground. I support it wholeheartedly in that context. But when it comes to commercial publication, I believe we should maintain higher standards for originality and transformation. Writers should be encouraged to use their fanfiction experience as a stepping stone to developing their own unique voices and worlds, not as a template to be slightly modified for publication.

The line needs to be drawn somewhere, and I believe it should be drawn at the point where creative borrowing becomes creative dependency.

I recognize this is a complex issue without easy answers. The literary world has always involved influence, inspiration, and adaptation. But in our rush to embrace new paths to publication, we shouldn’t lose sight of the value of genuine originality and the hard work of creating something truly new.

Fanfiction has its place, and it’s an important one. But so does original fiction that challenges authors to dig deeper, create more boldly, and contribute something genuinely their own to the literary landscape.

What are your thoughts on fanfiction going mainstream? Nothing to worry doubt? Or is this the beginning of the end?

The Weirdo wants to know!

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Indie Publishing Expectations versus Reality-Part 4: Money Matters, the Hidden Cost of Self-Publishing

This is how my “go big or go home’ mentality drained an already strained budget. Let’s talk money.

A laptop on a desk displaying financial graphs and charts, alongside stacks of coins and a pen holder, suggesting a focus on budgeting and expenses.

Self-publishing isn’t easy, and it certainly isn’t cheap. I learned this lesson the hard way while publishing my debut novel, Taming Armand. What started as an exciting creative journey quickly became a financial wake-up call when my “go big or go home” mentality burned through my budget, one seemingly innocent expense at a time.

If you’re curious about the self-publishing journey and considering embarking on this wild ride, let me first walk you through some of my most costly mistakes—and how you can avoid making the same ones I did.

The Price of Indecision

My most expensive mistake wasn’t the result of a single purchase—it was due to lack of preparation. I made the cardinal sin of completing my entire manuscript without doing any research about the publishing process, whether traditional or self-publishing. I went in as ignorant as a newborn babe.

When I was finally ready to release my book into the world, my “research” consisted of watching several YouTube videos, and even those came embarrassingly late in the game.

This lack of preparation revealed itself in my publishing platform dilemma. From my limited research, I discovered Amazon KDP, Draft2Digital, and IngramSpark—three platforms consistently recommended by the content creators I followed. Instead of understanding the differences between them, I found myself paralyzed by choice, unsure which path would serve my book best.

The root of the problem was simple: I went into publishing with absolutely no plan. I had “pantsed” my novel (written without an outline), and I naively thought I could “pantser” my way through the publishing process too. But here’s what I learned the hard way—without direction, you have no aim. Without aim, you waste money on unnecessary expenses and miss opportunities to spend wisely on what actually matters.

Hidden Costs Add Up Fast

Let me break down where my money actually went. These costs cover both of my novels, Taming Armand and Bloody Endings, because the devil truly is in the details:

Professional Services

I went through Fiverr for book covers for both books, plus purchased a yearly subscription for a service that allows you to design your own book covers and create social media ads.

  • Fiverr covers: $150 (ebook and paperback versions)
  • Bookbrush yearly subscription: $246
  • Editing: $150 for developmental editing, $150 more for proofreading after making changes
  • Formatting: $120, then $80 more when I decided to add print versions

The “Just One More” Expenses

  • ISBN purchases: Started with one for $125 (Taming Armand), ended up buying a pack of 10 for $295 (during the publishing process for Bloody Endings)
  • Marketing materials: Business cards, bookmarks, banners—$200 total
  • Website and domain: $18/year that I forgot I was paying

What I Should Have Done Instead

Looking back, here’s the research-first approach I wish I’d taken:

Before Writing

  • Understand your genre’s market expectations
  • Research cover design trends in your category
  • Set a realistic total budget (including marketing)
  • Choose your publishing platform based on your goals, not popularity

During Writing

  • Build your author platform early (it’s never too early to start generating hype and an audience)
  • Connect with other authors in your genre
  • Start building an email list (this is something I’m currently working on—it’s a lot harder than people online make it seem)
  • Research editors and designers while you’re still writing

Before Publishing

  • Get quotes from multiple service providers
  • Understand the difference between developmental editing, copyediting, proofreading, and beta reading (I hired a beta reader through Fiverr for Bloody Endings and it made a world of difference)
  • Plan for both ebook and print formats from the start
  • Create a marketing timeline and budget

The Emotional Cost of Financial Stress

What the YouTube videos don’t tell you is how financial stress affects your creative confidence. Every unexpected expense made me second-guess my decisions. Should I have gone with the cheaper cover designer? Was that developmental edit really necessary? These doubts crept into how I felt about the books themselves.

The financial pressure also rushed my timeline. Instead of taking time to make thoughtful decisions, I found myself throwing money at problems to meet unrealistic self-imposed deadlines because I was trying to have something ready for Noir at the Bar. This led to expensive rush fees and less-than-optimal choices.

Note: Don’t rush and risk putting out subpar work by publishing before you’re ready. Looking back, I wish I had listened to my gut on this one and waited.

Building a Sustainable Self-Publishing Budget

For your first book, I recommend this approach (please adjust as needed—if you have a large budget, go for it, but if you’re working with limited funds, stay in your lane):

Essential Expenses (Budget 60% here)

  • Professional editing
  • Cover design
  • Basic formatting
  • One set of ISBNs (this is where I suggest you splurge, especially if you plan to self-publish more than one book)

Marketing and Promotion (Budget 25% here)

  • Simple website
  • Basic promotional materials (some websites offer this fairly cheap—WordPress does)
  • Initial advertising budget

Contingency Fund (Budget 15% here)

  • Unexpected revisions
  • Additional promotional opportunities (I’d also factor in author events where you can set up a table and sell books etc.)
  • Learn from mistakes early and don’t be afraid to pivot

The Long-Term Perspective

Here’s what I wish someone had told me: your first book is an investment in learning the process, not making money. The real return on investment comes from applying what you learn to subsequent books. With each book you publish, you’ll get better.

My expensive mistakes with Taming Armand taught me valuable lessons that saved me a couple hundred dollars on Bloody Endings. With book two, I had direction and aim. I planned before I spent.

The Bottom Line

Self-publishing is challenging and fun, but it doesn’t have to break the bank—though it will cost more than you initially think. The key is channeling that “go big or go home” energy into strategic planning rather than reactive spending.

My advice? Start with research, not with writing. Understand the full journey before you begin, and your wallet (and sanity) will thank you later.

Have you had similar experiences with self-publishing costs? The Weirdo wants to know—I’d love to hear your stories and your money-saving tips in the comments.

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Show, Don’t Tell: A Writer’s Awakening

Three words changed how I write: “Show, don’t tell.” Before joining the Hoover Library’s Write Club, I’d never heard this fundamental rule that would reshape my approach to storytelling.

A collection of old, wrinkled pages with printed text, some marked with stains, suggesting a history of use and alteration.

When I first walked into that circle of folding chairs, clutching my manuscript like a security blanket, I had no idea how transformative the experience would be for my development as a writer. I thought I had it all figured out—after all, wasn’t writing just about pouring words onto paper? The more elaborate, the better?

One piece of feedback has stayed with me ever since: “Show, don’t tell.” At first, I was puzzled by this advice. What did that mean? My writing style involved throwing in everything but the kitchen sink. I reveled in immense descriptive detail and thought more was not just better, but the goal. Every sunset had to be “magnificent,” “breathtaking,” and every character’s emotion explicitly stated rather than demonstrated through action or dialogue.

I recall the moment the concept clicked. Instead of writing “Alicia was nervous,” I learned to show her fidgeting with the dimestore wedding ring, her voice catching mid-sentence, beads of perspiration forming across smooth blemished skin despite the cool air. The difference was night and day. Now, my readers could experience Alicia’s anxiety rather than simply being told about it.

This simply piece of advice not only transformed individual scenes, but my entire understanding of what good writing could accomplish. The art of story telling is an invitation, not a lecture. It should draw readers into experiences instead of merely informing them about events. 

I like to think I’ve turned from my wicked writing ways. Although I still battle one persistent habit that threatens to derail every writing session: the urge to edit while I write. 

Some old tendencies die hard—or not at all.

Putting Down the Metaphorical Red Pen

This internal editor remains my most formidable opponent. Picture this: I’m in the middle of what feels like a breakthrough scene, fingers flying across the keyboard, when suddenly that critical voice pipes up. “That sentence is clunky,” it whispers. “That word choice is terrible. Fix it now before you forget.”

My mind races faster than I can type, faster than I can think clearly. Ideas pile up like cars in a traffic jam while I’m stuck polishing a single paragraph to perfection, only to obsess over it hours later. It’s maddening. I’ll spend twenty minutes perfecting the opening sentence of a chapter, only to realize I’ve completely lost track of where the story was heading.

One thing that sharing taught me in the early years of Write Club was that first drafts are meant to be messy. They’re supposed to be imperfect, rushed, and full of placeholder phrases like “insert better description here.” The magic happens in revision, not in the initial pouring of raw creativity energy onto the page.

Yet knowing this intellectually and putting it into practice are two entirely different challenges. Even now, as I write this very sentence, I can feel the urge to go back and tinker with the previous paragraph. It’s an addiction of sorts.

The Liberation of Imperfection

Slowly, I’m learning to embrace what I call “productive messiness.” Some days, I force myself to write with my monitor brightness turned down so low I can barely see the words. Other times, I’ll set a timer and refuse to use the backspace key until it rings. These techniques sound ridiculous, but they’ve helped me push past the paralysis of perfectionism.

The most profound lesson from my writing group experience wasn’t just about showing versus telling—it was about trusting the process. Trust that the story will find its shape. Trust that awkward first drafts can and with some effort will become polished prose. Trust that sometimes the best writing emerges when we release control.

The journey from that nervous newcomer clutching her manuscript to someone who can actually finish a story has been anything but linear. There are still days when I catch myself editing the same sentence for the tenth time, days when “show, don’t tell” feels like an impossible mountain to climb.

But there are also days when the words flow like water, when scenes come alive on the page, when I can feel readers leaning in because they’re not just reading about characters—they’re experiencing the story alongside them. Those are the days that make every frustrating writing session worth it.

The red pen will always be there, waiting to interrupt the creative flow. The key is learning when to pick it up—and more importantly, when to set it down and just let the story unfold.

How has famous word ‘Show, don’t tell’ impacted your writing journey? Is it something you follow? Or dismiss as antiquated approach to writing? The Weirdo wants to know!

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30k in 30 Days: An Indie Author’s Challenge

Alright, taking another brief pause on the Indie Publishing Series to issue a challenge, albeit, it is for myself. But please feel free to join in and revisit this post to provide an update on your progress.

A thoughtful young woman with natural curly hair sits at a table, holding a pen and looking intently at a notebook, embodying a moment of inspiration and creativity.

As I write this, I find myself in one of two camps:

  1. I have officially crossed the blurred line between insanity and sanity
  2. I have reached another level in my writing journey where I want to push myself and put out another book this year

In my twisted sense of humor, I’m good with number 1. (Remember, I’m a huge Edgar Allan Poe fan, so creeping into insanity isn’t all that unappealing—just being honest.) But I’ll believe that it’s more so number 2.

The Goal and The Why

The mission is to write a minimum of 30,000 words of a manuscript by the end of August.

Why? Honestly, I believe that I have been lazy. Coasting. Using every excuse and then some to do the bare minimum. I say I want to do this full time, and yet the amount of time I put forth in writing is less than four hours per week.

Simply put: it’s pathetic. My attempts at building my writing career into what I know it can be are laughable. I’ve been collecting excuses instead of creating content, and it’s time for that to change.

Criteria for Success

Initially the ideas was to write 30k of my latest manuscript but I did tweak things a little bit. Now, there’s no hard limit to this 30K challenge, and what I mean by that is I’m giving myself some wiggle room.

The goal is to write 30,000 words for the month of August—period.

The reason I give myself this caveat is that I have several short stories in question that will add to that collective word count. They’re already in progress and deserve to be part of this challenge. They are deserving of the same level of effort at my manuscript.

Now, The Approach

I’m treating this challenge seriously at the same time embracing the natural chaos of the creative process. I am well aware some days might produce solid material with the scenes flowing like rushing rivers. Then other days might be a bit, less say stagnant.

Mainly this challenge is about consistency showing up when there is no inspiration or motivation.

This isn’t just about hitting a word count—it’s about building sustainable writing habits and proving to myself that I can commit to the craft with the dedication it deserves.

Why This Matters

This 30K goal about more than word count—it’s about proving to myself that I can stop treating my writing like a side hobby.

Challenges that push us outside our comfort zone are usually exactly what we need. I’d rather attempt something ambitious and learn from the process than continue making excuses for why I’m not progressing. Excuses why nothing is being produced.

If I happen to lose a bit more of my sanity along the way? Well, most writers are a little eccentric anyway.

Moving Forward

So here I am, ready to commit to this challenge and see what happens. This is about more than just hitting a number—it’s about developing the discipline and consistency that a serious writing career demands.

The goal is clear: 30,000 words in 30 days. No more excuses, no more coasting. Just work that needs to be done.

Time to get started.

Sound off in the comments, will you too accept the challenge? The Weirdo wants to know. 

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Flying Blind: A Pantser’s Thoughts

There’s a moment in every writer’s journey when they have to choose between control and surrender. When faced with this conundrum, do you grip the steering wheel tighter? Or do you slide over to the passenger seat and see where the ride takes you?

For me, that choice came about 1,500 words into what I thought would be a simple, cheesy romance posted for free on Inkitt. Little did I know, my characters had other plans—even the ones that had yet to make their presence known.

I have a confession: I am a pantser. Yep. I go into every story flying blind. I start with a character, a problem, and often absolutely no direction. But I don’t panic. I let the characters decide where to take me.

When I write, I like to think of myself as a scribe—but a scribe with unprecedented access to the characters’ inner thoughts, secrets, desires, and untold history. Nothing is hidden from me.

Now, this “flying blind” approach isn’t without challenges. Sometimes I hit a wall, and not for the reasons you might initially expect.

With Taming Armand, I hit a wall when the story’s direction completely shifted. I initially jumped on Inkitt intending to write a cutesy love story—something a little erotic and, well… cheesy. But around 1,500 words in, the characters hijacked my plans. After chapter one, the secret history of how Armand’s father became alpha and the complex dynamics of one-sided sibling rivalry took over, kicking me out of the driver’s seat. I was no longer controlling what played on the radio.

I found myself writing Taming Armand thinking, “Wow, I didn’t expect it to go this way,” or clutching my pearls at scenarios that unfolded naturally as I continued writing. It was no longer my story—it belonged to Armand, Amelia, Maximillian, and the rest. I, the scribe, had moved to the periphery, becoming merely a spectator who wanted to record everything I’d seen and heard.

Now, I’m not prejudiced against planning. I see the merits in outlining, but as someone who has tried to plan stories, I have to say it’s truly not for me. What was supposed to be a simple outline quickly ballooned into twenty pages of actual story. During that planning exercise, the little bit I did outline was never referenced (honestly, I think I lost it entirely).

Then there was the time I sat down to write a story with a specific ending in mind—something happy. I wanted to step outside my comfort zone and write something, well… uplifting. Instead, the character took me down a dark but humorous path of murder, flaying, and repressed sexual desires. Trust me, I didn’t see any of that coming, at least not for this particular story.

It was with this story that I really evaluated what type of writer I was and am. More importantly, it gave me the courage to embrace who I am as a writer. I don’t write with outlines. An idea comes to me from the ether, I grab hold of it, and let it lead me wherever it wants to go. In simpler, less fluffy terms: I’ve accepted that most writing advice articles aren’t very useful to me because of my approach to storytelling. I’ve learned not to bend myself to fit what a writer is “supposed to do” or how they’re “supposed to approach” story or character development. I’ve learned not to throw the baby out with the bathwater, so to speak.

Do I think my writing life would be easier if I planned? Probably. I’d likely have a higher chance of meeting writing deadlines. But flying blind is where I’m most comfortable, and I feel I do my best work. I’m a better writer when I sit down with no expectations other than getting started. After that first line, the characters take over, and I let them run wild.

Are you a planner or a pantser? Or do you prefer a mixture of both?

The Weirdo wants to know!

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Indie Publishing Expectations versus Reality- Part 3: The Editing Gauntlet

This is Part 3 of the “Indie Publishing Expectations vs. Reality” series. Be sure to check out Part 1: Book Covers and Part 2: Knowing the Difference Between Writing Alone and Going It Alone of the series.

I continue with this series on indie publishing, and tackle what I would consider one of the harder if not hardest aspects of writing—one that we’ve all either 1) struggled with, 2) thoroughly enjoyed, 3) hired someone else to tackle that messy piece, or 4) pointed two fingers (I think you know which ones) at the editing process and hit the publish button.

However you handle the arduous process of editing, I would highly encourage you to avoid number four at all costs. Even if you’re averse to the editing process or just anxious to get something published, I would advise—and beg—please give it at the bare minimum a once-over.

I cannot tell you have many fan fiction pieces and even some books that I’ve read where it was evident no one edited a darn thing.

I digress.

I remember the moment I typed “THE END” on the first manuscript I ever completed. The euphoria was intoxicating. I’d done it—I’d written a book! Finally. That one word summed up the initial four years of my path to publication.

In my mind, the hardest part was over, and in about one week (gross underestimation by the way) I would have it published. Only thing left to do was get a banging cover a quick pass through and BAM! I’d be holding my first book.

Now, I’ll jump into my battle with editing.

The Rush to Publish

The book was written and I was anxious to get it out and have copies ready for the 2024 Birmingham Noir at the Bar. All of the other authors had a book either out or coming out, and I needed one out too. (I will interject here, it is a bad, horrible idea to compare yourself to other authors-period! That is the quickest way to end up at depression’d door. Just trust me on this one).

Book cover for 'Taming Armand' by Hayley M. Moon, featuring a wolf under a full moon with a dark forest background.

That was over a year ago, and I have learned a tremendous amount since then. I will admit that with my first novel (Taming Armand Book 1 of the Coven Origins Series), it only went through one—yes, I will repeat that—one round of major edits, and those were done by… me.

Yep. If you’re a writer, teacher, blogger, etc., then I’m sure you chuckled and probably had to do a quick re-read. But no, your eyes are not deceiving you. I didn’t realize how much of a horror that book was until it was published.

If you’re new to indie publishing, let me save you some heartache: your first draft isn’t your book. Not even close. It’s the raw material your book will eventually be carved from. Understanding this distinction—and the editing gauntlet that transforms one into the other—might be the most important reality check you’ll face as an indie author. That was the case for me.

With Taming Armand, it was and still is my baby. It was the first testament that I could do it—that I had started carving away at my dream of becoming a bestselling author. It wasn’t until Taming Armand had been on the market and I had that first copy in my hands and started to read it that I began to understand where I went wrong—and I had gone wrong way before I even completed the manuscript.

I Was a Victim of the First Draft Fantasy

Even before I began to take my writing seriously, I had a romanticized view of the writing process with little to no thought given to the editing process. But what little thought I did give to editing was something like this:

  1. Start the book, finish the book. Celebrate.
  2. Take a brief breather. Read through what you have written. Fix the obvious typos and sentence structure.
  3. Adjust a few sentences for flow. Maybe even add a few here and there to spice things up a bit.
  4. Take another breather. Proofread it yourself. Send to a proofreader for final polish (ended up not doing this because I was in a rush to GET IT OUT!).
  5. Add the finishing touches and voilà! Sit back and watch the five-star reviews (and the royalties) roll in!
A book cover for 'Bloody Endings', Book 2 of the Coven Origins Series by Hayley M. Moon, featuring a dark forest backdrop and a howling wolf.

I thought editing was like washing a car—a quick rinse to make something good look shiny and new. I had no idea with Bloody Endings: Book 2 of the Coven Origins Series that I was about to enter what I would call “the editing gauntlet”—a grueling but essential process that would completely transform my work into a final form that I was very proud of.

Learning from Mistakes

Several months after Taming Armand was on the market, it had to undergo some serious rework. The first release was what it looks like when you rush to publish—when you release your baby into the world before she or he is ready. I was sure not to repeat that with the second one.

Going into manuscript two, the first draft fantasy was over and I went in knowing there was some seriousness that needed to be taken with not just the writing but the editing portion as well.

Book two underwent multiple rounds of edits but I still felt like more could have been done and at some point I had to call it or else the plot would have been lost.

Another difference between book one and book two was I actually took joy in the entire process. I was able to give the attention to book 2 that frankly I should have given to book one. I outsourced what I didn’t know how to do. I hired someone for the cover. I hired an editor and a beta reader.

What I will say in a nutshell about the editing process is that it’s tough. It’s necessary, and it is one process that no writer should go through alone. After the first pass-through by you, get someone else (I would recommend a professional—yes, indie publishing can be a bit pricey, but I learned to cut corners where possible and budget accordingly).

Your Turn

What are some mistakes you have made during the editing portion of your manuscript? Did you rush it? Put both middle fingers up to the process altogether? Or were you blessed to have a team to help guide you through the editing trenches?

Sound off in the comments—the Weirdo wants to know.

Until next time!

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Indie Publishing Part 2: Expectations versus Reality – Knowing the Difference Between Writing Alone and Going It Alone

When I first decided to become an author, I thought I understood what I was signing up for and that it would be fun, and in no time I would be rich!

I’d write my book in solitude (which is something that appealed to me. The lonely genius burning the midnight oil with a beloved pet as their only companion has been something that I have inspired to for a long time. (Haven’t decided whether this is an unhealthy aspiration or not but I digress.)

I thought, “I’ll publish the book myself—how hard could it be?” The plan was simple: build my author career on my own terms and, most importantly, maintain control over my own destiny. After all, who doesn’t crave that sense of control, or at least the comforting illusion of it?

I was ready to embrace what I imagined would be the writer’s life: peaceful isolation paired with creative independence. Little did I know what lay ahead.

What I didn’t realize was that there’s a massive difference between “writing alone” and “going it alone”. I believe as an indie authors and/or publishers this is something we all contend with at some point on the journey. Confusing the two nearly derailed my entire writing journey.

Writing Alone: Beautiful Solitude

Writing alone is exactly what it sounds like—the quiet, focused act of putting words on the page. It’s you, your thoughts, and the story unfolding in your mind. This part of indie publishing lived up to every expectation I had. There was pure creative flow. There were no meetings, no compromise, no committee decision about character motivations and no debates on whether is this or that too much.

I had complete control.

I decide when my protagonist and antagonists speak. I shape the world and whether a plot twist stays or goes. Then there’s the flexible schedule. Whether I write at 5am or midnight, in bed or at the local overpriced coffee shop is of no one’s concern but my own.

Mostly importantly there are no deadlines, except the ones that I set. Then there’s the authentic voice; the story emerges exactly as it has been envisioned without outside influence (which can be for the good or the bad; at times a fresh set of eyes are helpful, I am willing to admit).

This solitude isn’t just pleasant—it’s essential. The best writing happens in that quiet space where you can hear your characters’ voices and feel the rhythm of your prose. I protect this time fiercely, and it remains my favorite part of the entire writing journey.

But here’s the thing about illusions, especially the beautiful ones, is that it lures you in and before you know it the hooks are embedded deep.

Going It Alone: The Isolation Trap

Now here’s where expectations and reality collided. I thought the entire indie publishing journey would be this peaceful, solitary experience. I thought the process would be ordered and all I had to do was hit each step along the way and end up at this fabulous destination. I imagined myself as a lone wolf, handling everything from manuscript to marketing with quiet confidence and complete self-reliance.

The reality? Going it completely alone is not just lonely—it’s counterproductive and dare I say, devastating.

The Learning Curve

When you go it alone, every mistake becomes a costly lesson learned the hard way:

– I spent a week playing around on BookBrush, designing a cover that looked cute, artistic but didn’t signal the urban fantasy genre.

-My back cover blurb was lacking.

-I chose keywords based on what I thought sounded impressive, not what readers actually searched for when looking for books.

Each of these mistakes could have been avoided with input from other indie authors and publishers who’d already navigated these waters.

Lesson learned.

I now have a tribe (albeit small) of writers and authors that have undergone a similar journey or that have taken a different path (more traditional route) or write purely to submit to anthologies.

So, I want to know, can you relate?

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My Rocky Road to NaNoWriMo

My attempts at participating in NaNoWriMo…haven’t always gone as planned.

With this not so new year and ,most importantly, a new me I think I can conquer NaNoWriMo 2024. Okay, maybe not conquer necessarily but I can definitely inflict some serious word count wounds and finish up Bloody Endings: Book 2 of the Coven Origins Series. The highly anticipated sequel to Taming Armand: Book 1 of the Coven Origins Series (yes, a shameless plug is not beneath me, lol).

In order to take you down this path to finally and actively participating in NaNoWriMo I must set the scene. So, I will need to take you back to October 2022 as the treasured and much anticipated writing month of November was looming large. It’s a time of the year where writers seasoned and new make something akin to a resolution, a challenge, if you will to write 50K of a novel. Or to start or finish that manuscript that has been sitting idly in the word processor of your choice or stuffed away in a notebook collecting dust.

That year I had finally narrowed down a focus to one manuscript and only days before November 1st I had broken the 10K word count. Talk about elation. I was finally doing it. I was finally writing a book. I was ready and enthusiastic, this would be my first NaNoWriMo, and I was ready and more than willing to give it all I had. My beady black eyes were set on exceeding my personal goal of 40k by the end of November.

But fate or rather my body had other disruptive plans.

Illness happened and not just a bout of the flu but something that not only set me back but had me lying at Death’s door, or rather I like to think I was in his driveway. I like to believe I wasn’t that close, but the encyclopedia of medical notes and list of diagnoses say I was closer than I will ever be without actually have died.

So, while I awaited on an official diagnosis and subsequently my fate curled in a hospital bed my manuscript sat on my laptop at home far out of my grasp. Long story short, I couldn’t participate.

I was heartbroken that my first real attempt at gaining major ground on my manuscript was derailed by my unruly body. My treasonous immune system had the final say and NaNoWriMo 2022 was a no go.

The year 2023 hits and I made progress. I was well enough to start trying to bring some normalcy to my life. I was back in my room with my cat, my books and iced coffee. The year and my health seemed to be going well.

Although I did not hit the 40k I had promised myself, I am grateful to have walked away with my life and a renewed sense of self and a rededication to my writing.

Then Life once again lifed.

My mother suddenly became ill, my grandmother’s cognitive abilities continued and rapidly declined. My own health was stagnant. I wasn’t getting better but I hadn’t gotten worse and took that small victory, and gasping for breath, ran for the hills.

Ultimately, Mother lost her battle with cancer leaving behind a heartbroken author that didn’t want to write. Prior to my mother’s death, Babe my beloved four legged feline confidant lost her own battle. Completing the old saying ‘Death comes in threes’ was Granny. After months of forgetting, she too threw in the towel seeking a place where she could finally remember.

I grieved.

I am still grieving.

Eeven as a year will be marked for each of their deaths. But the will and the spirit to write has returned. The passion that was lost has returned and I plan to take full advantage of it.

NaNoWriMo 2024 here I am.

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Books

Debut Novel, Taming Armand Book 1 of the Coven Origins Series available now!

Click the link icon below!

“Because if we keep going, I won’t be able to stop. I’m at the point I’m in need of you. I can’t stop.”

Her face relaxed and the excitement returned. “What if I don’t want you to stop?”

She asked watching him searching for any micro signs. 

“This isn’t a game for me Amelia. I want you more than anything I’ve wanted in my life. I want you to be my mate. If you say yes, I will have no other. Do you consent to be my mate?”

Her jaw slackened causing her mouth fall slightly agape. The breath she drew in was shaky. Mates were something she had read about and knew of no one that experienced such a connection. 

Not even her parents. 

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The Laundry Mat: I Write as the Clothes Turn

Swish, filthy colors swirl before me each piece fighting for a glimpse out the small oval window.

I am convinced they are watching me.

Solace is found in the steady rhythm of the stainless steel boxes. I am fascinated, comforted by the mundane but tiring task.

Solitude is what I find in the small crowd of eager individuals different creeds and colors under one roof, only one objective in mind.

Silently they go about their tasks isolated at the speckled folding tables.

Sharp and uncomfortable and abrasive is the noise the chair utters against the worn desert colored tile. It doesn’t want to be forgotten.

Silly is what I feel, carefree and child-like as I pen this here.

Here of all places.

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Why Sci-Fi?

A little rid bit on why I have decided to act on my desire to write science fiction.

I thought I’d stretch a bit and this time take a walk into another realm. Once again, I am genre hopping.

This genre has always intrigued me but it wasn’t until four years ago that I decided to pick up a sci-fi novel and give it another go. I mean a real chance. My previous ventures into reading science fiction had been short lived.

I found some of the stories I came across too far-fetched to even pretend they are realistic or possible. (This could be a huge flaw but that’s just how my brain works.) I need to be able to believe what is written is possible although the technology may not exist (yet).

But that still doesn’t answer the question, why sci-fi?

I have to be a bit of an ass and ask, why not? Also, it is freaking cool. Not to mention the uptick in Black women writing sci-fi. This discovery had me weak in the knees, and I wanted to delve into the genre even more.

For one birthday, I was given N.K. Jemisin’s How Long ’til Black Future Month?. I had never heard of this author so when I turned it over and read the back cover I saw a face that looked like mine. I geeked out much to the annoyance of my co-workers. That weekend Fifth Season on my bookshelf.

That gift as simple as it was, meant something. It was beyond the fact that my friend and co-worker apparently knew me better than I had originally thought. But it also gave me a sense of ‘you are a writer’; you can create your world and put onto paper whatever the hell YOU want. You can write science fiction too!

Simply because you are a woman that is Black doesn’t mean that you are confined to only write social justice pieces, although I don’t find anything wrong with that type of writing and greatly believe in its importance, but there are some of us that want to show off our talents and imaginations.

We are more than down-trodden individuals, we are lively and brimming with ideas, stories and we bring a different perspective to a world that’s overflowing with the same type of sci-fi/fantasy writer.

Some of us color outside the lines or just miss the paper entirely.

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Quiet

Two swings at a writing prompt challenge-the word that week was ‘Quiet.’

Below are two versions of what I wrote for a writing prompt challenge that I participated in September of last year.

1st Attempt at ‘Quiet’

Desolation.

The street light flickered and I knew another wave was coming. Of what I wasn’t quite sure and in the window seat I slid down a little further and clutched Knubby a bit closer. I did it as if to shield her or attempt to protect myself, I am still unsure of which.

2nd Attempt at ‘Quiet’

The fridge buzzed as if letting me know it was doing its job. It made a show of keeping everything cold. The humming picked up as I turned and eyed the appliance. She was defiant letting me know that she wouldn’t be bullied into being quiet-silent.

Silent.

That word rattled around in my head long after I had lain down in my twin bed for the night.

She wasn’t like me at a loss for words always grasping at syllables and frantically attempting to string them together.

Words. Little things that conveyed thoughts and emotions. I was desperate to let someone know mine and yet I was at a loss.

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How Writing FanFiction Has Made Me a Better Writer

Initially, fan fiction had been my saving grace giving me an outlet to write using characters and storylines from tv shows, books and movies that interested me but I thought could have ended differently. It gave me a chance to play around with couplings that I thought should have totally happened or that would have been interesting if they had happened.

Below I detail my introduction to fanfic, becoming a fanfic author and the lessons that several very honest and at times nasty reviews have taught me about writing.

What is this?

I stumbled upon fan fiction in the late summer of 2010. I had just graduated high school a few months previously and was looking forward to college. My mother had become ill and had to stay in the hospital for several days and to pass time I took full advantage of the free WiFi. I can’t recall what led me to click or what I typed into the Google search but there was this word I had never heard of before, fanfiction or fanfic for short.

This was intriguing.

“I had my ass handed to me, digitally, chapter by chapter; and it was the most eye opening thing that could have happened to me as new writer.”

It Begins

I began to read several stories a day and created an account on a fanfic platform with a very catchy screen name. My first attempt at writing and publishing a story online came in the form of a Harry Potter one-shot ( a short story in which the writer will continue no further) and it was absolutely awful.

Every bit of that 2,192 word story was rushed and it was obvious.

The prospect of having one of my stories live forever in the digital void had me excited, thrilled even to the point I opened up a word doc and frantically typed the night way, all the while skipping story continuity and plot development.

Although I am not an English buff or part of the grammar patrol, persistent errors tend to be a bit of a pet peeve I have developed over these past few years. But what I truly lacked was continuity. The story was all over the place there was no connection as the reader moved through each chapter. It was as if every chapter represented a different thought and they all could become their own one-shots.

A properly developed story has to be just that developed. I learned this the hard way. The lesson came in the form of some nasty reviews. I vividly recall the reviews of one reader of another fanfic I had written. This person reviewed each chapter (at the time I had written and posted 22 chapters) and each was at minimum a paragraph laying out everywhere I went wrong with the characters and how the story line didn’t make sense in certain places. For newly starting out me, those reviews delivered the equivalent of a digital right hook leaving my jaw on my keys.

Now, the tricky thing with using worlds and characters that others have created and that are well known, in the case with Harry Potter, Twilight, etc., the reader enters into the story with a certain expectation of how that character’s personality and how they should behave.

For me that is the beauty of fan fiction. I can give the reader a new perspective on a well known character and this has afforded me the opportunity to see the humanity in the characters that I create. I have learned how to make them real. Writing these stories gives me practice with continuity and simply put I really enjoy writing them and I can honestly type that after playing in someone else’s world it inspired me to create my own.

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Flash Fiction

So, I am ready and I can’t wait to read along side some amazing writers such as Marina Reznor, Schuyller Randall, Marty Elder, Benjamin Hewitt (Monsoon 117), Jason Head, W. B. Henley, Nancy Dorman-Hickson, Michael Virga, Bobby Matthews, Donna Thomas and Sean DeArmond.

This event will be live-streamed this Saturday, March 19th at 2pm CST click the link below to check us out!

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In the Silence

It is here the thoughts came rushing back. Ideas and passion that I thought long forgotten came reminding me of before when my responsibilities weren’t as heavy and I could breathe a little easier as the stresses of adulthood and career had yet to hold me hostage.

I’m finally home, free from distraction, momentarily unrestrained from obligation.

Away from endless loops of hair tutorials and conspiracy theories. Here in the silence I am reminded why I stopped talking that summer.

This past weekend I did something that I hadn’t done since high school-sat in silence, no tv, no cell phone just my thoughts. The feeling was uncomfortable and much needed.

It is here that all senses are alive and that dead feeling, the nagging feeling of only existing fades. In the Silence I can hear the rain fall onto the drive way, I can finally taste the coconut milk in the lukewarm coffee.

In the Silence I find discomfort and yet I find a strange peace; I am re-discovering the Creative, the Dreamer and the Humanist has returned; pieces of me overshadowed by the Cynic, the Perfectionist and the Pessimist. I know now that I must deaden the noise and snuff out the blue light.

In this dreary hour and in the small room in this silence I have found ME.

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The Plan

The plan to salvage my book and sanity. Basic, but it’s a start.

Write.

That’s the plan; write. It seems simple. What many don’t know is that I have a hard time taking my own advice and I have taken every avenue to avoid doing just that.

I am willing to admit impatience makes up the lion’s share of the blame. Throughout this journey to become a serious writer with hopes to become a full fledge author, I have wanted that New York Time’s best seller since yesterday, ten years ago.

The entitled millennial I want it now spirit reared it’s ugly head and for a time I considered quitting. My drafts were trash and I begin to question if I had it. I have yet to define the “it”.

The goal is to write more frequently and to simply take it easy on myself, and I have decided to take 2022 head on and carve out time to develop my skill. I begin even if the idea or the thought isn’t fully developed, the ideas are there. It is putting them on the screen that shows the disconnect.

I’ve discovered that chasing the perfect first draft has always been my Achilles’ heel. I have learned that it is okay; every idea or plot isn’t meant to be a trilogy or HBO series. You have to write in order to get the sludge out of the way and hit black gold-or rather the literary jackpot. I am learning the process takes time.

Trusting the process is hard but trusting myself is the hardest thing I have ever done.

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Window Seat

I can hear the birds here as I watch Helios and Gaea kiss for the first time.

It’s before coffee.

It’s before the caffeine clouds my thoughts stimulating me while pushing them in every direction opposite of creativity.

Passions are diverted as I’m reminded that I have to go back.

I can’t dwell here, not tomorrow.

I am not afforded another day.

I don’t hear the sounds of Life there. Not over the clicking of the keys and the sighs of defeat.

The constant interruptions, hisses of deadlines and overdue reports; things that only further push me away from reality.

I am relying on lies now as I coerce myself into returning day after day.

I don’t like it here.

The people demand too much and understand too little.

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Old Method, Better Results

I get it now.

I am understanding what are my hangups when it comes to sitting down and turning imagined plots and characters into words on the screen. My main roadblock was trying to edit while writing.

Editing while writing doesn’t work for this writer and I found myself so focused on grammatical errors and attending to the annoying red underlined words that the thoughts got lost before I had a chance to type them.

So, I went back old school.

I went back to writing in a notebook. This pulls my attention away from editing while writing and I am not worried about getting everything perfect as it comes out of my head. While I am writing, prefection doesn’t exist for me, instead it is about developing thoughts and putting what’s in my head down in a coherent way.

Now, I will say that having to go back and decipher my hand writing and then type everything into a word doc is a tad bit annoying but this has proven to be very effective to me and my writing that I don’t intend to give it up anytime soon.

Let me know your thoughts and what has been some hangups that you as a writer have had to overcome.