time

No One Has Enough

Time. No one has enough of it, not in a day, a week, a month or a year. Where does it go and most importantly can one get it back?

I would often sit around and wonder, ‘my God, I am almost thirty boy where did those carefree afternoons spent relishing in doing absolutely nothing, the long summers that never seemed to end and the smell of soul food coming from Granny’s kitchen go?’

Before I realized Life is what you make of it and that only I can rescue myself, I was pass the point of young adulthood and settling into Adulthood, where things aren’t so simple.

It was starting around twenty-eight, when the heavy questions started to gnaw at me. Do you want children? Do you want to get married? Do you see yourself working here for the long term? What’s your endgame?

I had no answer because I had never thought of those questions because I felt, back then, that I had all of the time in the world.

Now, I am in a constant state of panic; frustrated that things aren’t happening fast enough or that those things should have happened sooner. Why wasn’t I more focused and disciplined? Why didn’t I have more fun? Why did I play it so safe all of the time?

It goes back to before, I thought I had all of the time in the world. Now, I understand that standing still will not slow it down it will keep going the clock will keep ticking.

So, I better get busy.

When You Have the Inspiration…But Not the Time

As of late, I find myself overcome with fresh and interesting ideas. Trust me I am not complaining. As someone that just overcame a year of writer’s block this is truly a blessing from above and I willing hold up pen and pad to the sky to receive them.

But I, like many with a full time job, often times more than I care to admit, find myself short on time. Or when I have the time, I have a million things to do or I am exhausted and the opportunity to open my laptop to bust out a few lines is readily exchanged for a hot shower and the rare opportunity to get in bed by 11pm.

One day I found myself doing a true self reflection, not just telling myself good things are to come but real introspeciton. I asked myself, seriously, have you tried? Do you try? Practicing honesty with ones self is tough and I had to answer truthfully, ‘no.’

After reflecting and identifying where I have been going wrong for the past 2 years, I have identified what 2021 needs to look like if I want to transition to doing what I love full time.

I always enjoy rattling a story around in my head. I can kill an entire day working out plots and characters in my mind. As someone that has and still struggles with social interaction creating these elaborate stories has been of comfort to me and has allowed me to have many adventures as well as participate in some quite devious activities all without leaving my room and most importantly without talking to a single soul.

Often a story that unfolded itself naturally in my mind bends and twists once I start to type leading me once again to a dead end.