Tag: writing process

Motivation: An Unreliable Muse

Motivation. We’ve all had. We’ve all lost it. Trust me, I know. I have been motivated to get sexy for the summer for over a decade, and I am still not where I desire to be. Why? Because motivation, not discipline, was the driver.

I will explore why I think motivation is-well, you’ve seen the title. It’s unreliable and most of all fleeting. Motivation comes dressed in the most convincing costume you have ever seen. Allow me to prove my posture.

I recently began working on Book 3. An idea that had rattled around in my brain, leaving nicks along already worn surfaces, and after a year, demanded I put it to paper. I was motivated-burning with something I have no words to describe. Hopes were high. I was high (not literally) but you get the sense of euphoria I had for this project.

Then, somewhere around 14,000 words, I lost the spark. For what I set out to achieve that word count was no where near enough. I had embraced the fantasy of this wonderful new project coming to fruition. I invested more in the dream than in the actual work of building it. The dream was intoxicating; the discipline required to see it through was not.

But this wasn’t the first time I have started out full steam ahead only to fizzle out before covering meaningful ground.

Taming Armand and Bloody Endings were not my first endeavors into writing. Neither were my first attempts at finishing a book. If anything, they rank fourth and fifth on a list that the others didn’t make it onto.

Back in 2018, I was motivated. Really motivated. That was the year. I was going to get my sh*t together. I would finally lean into my talents and write the book. That had been my motto: Write the Damn Book. I had attended my first Noir at a local coffee shop and was riding that emotion high. And by golly. I was going to ride it all the way to a finished manuscript.

Somewhere between life well- life-ing-the time spent writing became less and less. Sleeping a full eight hours became sexier than burning the midnight oil a few nights out of the week. My to-do list included everything but writing, and eventually, I chose productivity over creativity. The payoff of a quick, completed task was more exciting than the delayed gratification creativity offered. The thrill had left before the story had began.

The early pages of that manuscript ended up in a binder, alongside other forgotten ideas. Each of their origins forged from fleeting moments of motivation.

Fast forward to 2022. Life shifted in ways that I hadn’t anticipated. Illness pulled my card, and I grazed the hem of Death’s garment. By God’s grace, I was left on this side of the veil. And when I stepped into 2023, what propelled me ahead was not motivation. It was something quieter. Far more stubborn. It was discipline.

Taming Armand had begun to take shape into something serious. I decided to remove it from Inkitt and into a Word document. I set deadlines. I carried my laptop to work and wrote on my lunch break instead of doom scrolling. I showed up for the page even when the page felt like the last place I wanted to be.

With a little self-reflection and a new awareness, I discovered that motivation seduces. It will show up beautifully dressed. Full of promises. Endless possibilities. Then-it will leave. It always leaves. Motivation is not designed for the long haul. It is the spark, not the furnace.

Discipline is the furnace. It is far from romantic. It does not arrive with fanfare nor is it a feeling. No one cheers. There are no t-shirts. Discipline is simply the decision, made again and again, to continue-even when the magic is gone. Even when 14,000 words seems like evidence of failure rather than proof of progress.

I no longer search for motivation. I reach, yearning to touch discipline instead.

Until next time-has motivation carried you through? Or have you found discipline to be the more reliable companion? Sound off in the comments. The Weirdo wants to know.

Changing My Writing Game

I have to admit I was resistant to change. Stuck in my writing ways until I decided to try something new, and surprisingly, I must admit it has helped tremendously and I couldn’t be happier that it has.

Deviating from a writing practice that has over the years given me results was difficult. But as my writing has evolved so too must the process.

So, did I need to change my writing process? Or rather the way I thought about writing? What was the problem to begin with?

I will tell you.

The Problem.

First, I will admit that for months I would sit at the computer and…nothing. Maybe, if I was lucky, a sentence or two would reward my 3-4 hour effort. My imagination would be rich with plots, characters and scenes scratching at the seams of my frontal lobe trying to get out.

I would hold them there, believing until I had the entirety of the situation or it completely mapped out in my head then they couldn’t be free, they weren’t ready. Instead, I would or rather I have played with story ideas for months on end. Never knowing where to begin or exactly how it all should end.

Then whilst on lunch I stumbled upon a website offering writing tips. The suggestion was to start with an outline, line out characters, a beginning, and an ending.

I have never been an outline girl. During my college years, I preferred to sit, sweat, and bang on the keys in my anxiety induced madness and drive home a story or an essay in what I consider to be the old fashioned way.

I tend to let the plot and characters clumsily fall out of my head and onto the page.

Know the direction in which to take your story.

This seemed cumbersome, a huge waste of time and energy, then I thought ‘give it a try; what do you have to lose?’ If you try it and nothing happens but one or two sentences then you are exactly where you started but if you try it and complete a page or two then you have gained. It was a no loss or an all gain situation and I hestantily grabbed my notebook from my bag and put pen to paper.

I gave it a try and I am glad to say it worked.

For one of my manuscripts, having a defined starting point was a much needed Hail Mary pass. Creating an outline for Karen, has unburdened my mind of her and now I can focus on a more pressing project. One that has been rattling around in my brain and aging in my stories binder for two years. Armed with a weapon I initially refused to pick up, I am ready for battle. I am now ready to begin my novel and I do so renewed and prepared for what lies ahead.