Until we’re aren’t.
The inspiration has been coming, and coming on strong for the past few weeks. My novella and I have been going hot and heavy with me barely coming up for air.
I can’t get enough even lugging around my laptop has not dampened my affections.
I think you already know, Karen. She’s back in my life vying for my attention and getting it with very little effort on her part.
What can I say, I am a fool for a good book.
These past few weeks I have asked myself, ‘what’s next?’
I proudly and without hesitation remarked ‘a book. I need to focus on my book and actually completing my material. This will be the year I complete my first book.’
With that declaration, came an onset of trepidation and may I add– doubt. Like any first time writer this is new territory a foreign land in which I have dared to venture and although there are a bevy of writers that have risen from obscurity to prominence (my mind always goes to JK Rowling), Doubt stomps around wagging its little finger in my face asking ‘are you sure you have what it takes?’
Unfortunately, this is a question in which only I have the answer and it requires a lot of soul searching and an unshakeable belief in one’s self.
Between deciding to pursue another path or writing I can say with confidence that my first love won. I was only sure of this decision this evening when I thought of the time and dedication it would take to pursue option B–I grimaced as if my cat had rub her dirty, litter covered paw across my face. From that visceral reaction I had my answer it was not or is not a commitment I am inclined to make.
I love to write, I enjoy writing and hope to one day do this as a profession.
I have been writing since the age of nine and it has truly been my first love the one that no matter how much time passes I cannot shake it from my thoughts.
I vow from this moment forward not to allow any more time to pass between myself and what I love.
I am sure no writer is immune to asking herself or himself on any given day “Am I good enough to do this?” In particular when one is starting out the question always arises instilling doubt and most of all fear.
This fear is all consuming and can cause the pen to quiver and hand to become unsteady on the keys when trying to sit and knock out a few pages. This doubt often creeps in and settles in the bottom of my belly much like a lead weight. Keeping me in place and reminding me that the road to publishing is a rocky one.
This rocky road is one we must all travel, and we must travel alone. One can lose hope on the journey and as they make their way they will encounter confusing and misleading information, scammers that promise overnight success, and the nay-sayers who’s words will nestle in your mind like a tick and overtime will suck the life force and snuff out any creative drive.
As writers, we are solitary creatures bundled up and hunched over our laptops and notebooks coffee hot and chilling by the minute as we toil away putting thoughts and ideas into words in an attempt to bring to fruition what others cannot see. It is easy to forget that we are not alone in this space and that countless others have made this journey and have come out the other side wiser and brandishing spoils from a battle long fought.
Knowing that I am not alone gives me the hope to trek on.
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